Trauma

2022, November, Issue 17

Our radiant condition is always here now, even if circumstances prevent us from seeing this reality. Obviously, however, when we die, we experience trauma. This is life-shattering trauma, self-annihilating trauma. As I explained in both Timeless Luminosity and The Frog: A Spiritual Autobiography Spanning Many Lifetimes, my trauma was truly deep, not only in death, but also in lifetime after lifetime. I remembered every aspect of the death bardo; and, not to be minimized in any way, I remembered the trauma of this and countless lifetimes. I remembered the traumatic death that came before this lifetime. I remembered that in detail, as you may well know from reading my books.

And, to make this worse, in this lifetime I had the desire to understand everything, to experience everything life had to offer, including trauma and abusive people who came my way. I wanted to know why people were the way they were. I wanted to allow them to attack me, so that I could see for myself. This caused tremendous trauma, which I gladly accepted, because I also wanted to write about it. This, however, also led to severe health issues, which were the result of enduring everything and everyone, internalizing it, thinking about it, savoring it to the fullest.

With my book, “The Frog”, I revealed abuse and trauma over many lifetimes. This was not a book that simply provided fluff for the reader. It explained how to deal with every imaginable trauma, a hundred demons, or even a million demons—every sort of trauma that can afflict us. Some people who have read this book said that they really loved it, some had reservations or even found it to be too painful to read. I’m truly sorry, if that work is too much. It seemed important to reveal this intense path that I have followed over many lifetimes. The book is meant to give people confidence, no matter what trauma might come your way. It is meant to help in this endeavor to awaken.

Now, since my return to life and this old decrepit body, I find that I need to live in a remote place, with little to be concerned about, with very little stress in my life. Crowds and cities overwhelm. I’ve absorbed all the trauma I care to absorb for now. I’ve gathered the information that I need, so that I can write about it. I understand what that trauma is and why people treat each other with such disregard and brutality. Trauma happens because we are stupid. We don’t realize how precious we are; so, people do terrible things to each other, and themselves.

Although trauma can be seen as a blessing, if we are able to transform that, it's important to let people go who wish to harm us, at least until we are ready to face these demons. Cut those karmic strings at once. Don’t try to change them, don’t give them additional ways to harm you. Just separate yourself and call it good. This is how you take good care of yourself, by protecting your Spiritual Practice, your mind, your well-being. This is important if you wish to awaken. Take good care of yourself! Protect your mind! Create a strong foundation in your Spiritual Practice by generating Bodhicitta and by being present; but, also, build this foundation upon the notion that we are all precious. We should be very mindful that we should never cause problems for others or act in ways that makes things more negative. Part of this is not associating with people who want to cause us harm—it doesn’t matter who they are, just let them go.

Continually look inwardly at mind. Simply find time here or there to meditate. Breathe, pay attention to this moment, calm yourself enough so that disturbing emotions no longer control you, remain present throughout the day and night. This is how you take care of yourself, how you prepare yourself to deal with trauma. It is a very mindful, gentle, endeavor, with the intent of awakening, no matter what.

In reality, we cannot help anyone, unless we awaken. If we have concern for others, if we are codependent with abusive people, there’s nothing we can do, other than awaken. It’s important to look within ourselves, in order to discover true freedom and power. Looking to others, or trying to please people who are dysfunctional, usually has tragic results; and, it is a complete waste of our precious lives.

Protect your mind!

When we learn about meditation, we might hear phrases like “be immovable like a mountain” or “do not chase after thoughts”. Such phrases point at the importance of taking care of ourselves. With meditation, we learn how not to drive ourselves crazy. If you practice long enough, it will occur to you that the whole world is crazy, completely out of control, like a world inhabited only by the criminally insane. Of course, you will then look crazy to the inhabitants of this insane asylum. You’re no longer letting disturbing emotions get the best of you. You’ve gained the ability to evolve, becoming more powerful than trauma.

Protect your mind. Gather all the teachings that you need for awakening. Practice. Awaken.

I have no doubt that you will awaken.

Blessings,

Bob