The Depressing Reality

2024, February, Issue 82

Within this endless cycle,

this turmoil from

beginningless beginnings,

within this pain and suffering unending, a glimmer

of light, a glimmer of hope, liberation is at hand!

With true aspiration of Bodhicitta, time’s up,

with this sincere compassionate wish

for awakening from this miserable self,

time’s up,

with this action

implemented,

this compassionate wish for all beings

to awaken, time’s up;

 Beginningless beginnings enter the ineffable

 Dharmakaya, beyond all limitations, this

this is how it ends, by going beyond,

with this simple wish,

into love and light, this

this is liberation at hand, this

this is Ultimate Bodhicitta, when time dissolves

 into our Real Nature,

as it is,

as it is,

as it is beyond our heart

our heart of understanding, beyond

beyond this miserable

failing

body,

this ocean of accursed suffering,

time’s up!

~Robert Aho~

A poem from, The Frog: A Spiritual Autobiography, Spanning Many Lifetimes,

pp. 429-430, ©2021.

To discover who we really are is really quite depressing.  Here we are in this condition that has gone on for all eternity where we invent who we are every day.  We latch onto beliefs.  We follow various philosophies.  We subscribe to religion.  We defend ego when we do that, creating immeasurable suffering, simply because none of it is true.

When we discover our real condition, we discover how completely useless belief has been all along.  We discover that there is nothing left to change.  We discover that we are actually ineffable, beyond any limitations that the human mind can create.  This is most depressing.

Some people, in their quest to discover who we really are, wander into Buddhist teachings about emptiness.  Instead of really investigating these teachings, they come to a snap judgement about it, claiming that we are really just nothing.  This is totally incorrect.

Other people, searching in a similar way, discover this notion of interconnectedness, that we are the universe, that we are stardust.  This is also a Buddhist teaching about causes and conditions.  Instead of investigating this further, people claim to be everything and eternal.  This is also incorrect.

The depressing reality is that neither of those extreme positions are correct.  Reality cannot be limited by nothing, nor by everything.  Self has never been real, nor has anything that you can imagine.  This is depressing.  The illusory nature of our entire sense of reality is instantly deconstructed the instant that we recognize who we really are.

I think this is why people resist awakening, finding any means possible to put it off to another day or come up with sneaky little explanations or comforting thoughts that will keep us insulated from our own awakening.  Our awakening means that we will be giving up our habitual ways of generating fantasies.  We boldly face reality for the first time ever.  This is depressing.

So, why should we ever want to awaken?  It’s depressing.  It’s especially depressing in that this drug we call cyclic existence will never get us high, once we have awakened.  We’ve kicked the habit.  The endless hangover is over, never to return.

Sanity, for once, has taken hold.  We are now aware of our awareness.  We see that this awareness exists in an empty condition of Timeless Luminosity.  It is not limited.  It is completely free, without the slightest constraints or hindrances.  This is depressing, simply because we think we need to take hits for all eternity.  We especially enjoy complaining about our own misery, even though we resist awakening with a passion.

Awakening is the only way out of this misery that consumes us.  No other way will help us in the least.  If we end our life, another life appears.  Our consciousness transmigrates into other circumstances.  Religion, philosophy, politics, fame, fortune, logic, concepts or belief of any kind, none of it will help.  Cyclic existence can only be mastered through awakening.

Now, that said, the only reason that this is depressing is because you were certain that you were something that you’re definitely not.  You were trying to nail everything down; and, when you nailed it down, you did your best to keep it there.  This process of awakening pulls up all the nails.  Nothing is pinned down.  You realize that you’re only a figment of your own imagination, and that this ‘you’ has been invented in order to remain in your own misery forever.

Okay, now we’ve established that reality is depressing.  If you’ve been paying attention to my writing and my talks, you will recognize that depression as an obstacle.  The depression we face when we are close to awakening could just be the very last demon that you will ever need to confront.  Awakening is not constrained by depression.  That obstacle must also go.

When it is time, no demon will have the slightest chance against you.  All obstacles will be completely annihilated.  You will enter a state beyond all obstacles.  And, what is this state?  It is totally free unlimited awareness, Ultimate Bodhicitta.  It is our Real Nature.  It is so much more than you ever thought possible.

When you finally awaken, you will laugh.  It is hilarious.  You will wonder why you’ve been messing around with this tiny little limited creation.  Your own awakening will make it obvious that you are Timeless Luminosity.

Blessings in Light,

Robert Aho