Self and No-Self

2024, August, Issue 111

On one extreme, we believe in

Self, nonsensically, foolishly, impulsively

We think that self is real;

On another extreme, we think,

We think, we think, we think that

Self cannot exist;

We replace this with no-self,

A little nothing demon who

Stands in the way, telling everyone,

Everyone that we are not real, so

We don’t exist, with extreme determination

No-Self declares that it doesn’t exist!

No-Self declares, declares, declares, declares

That it is all nothing whatsoever;

These extremes are both paths of fools,

Foolishly declaring what cannot be,

What cannot ever have existed,

Cannot, cannot, cannot in those extremes.

A poem by Robert Aho © 2024

We do our best, when we create this idea of self.  When we’re in cyclic existence, the death bardo presents a challenge.  As our karmic winds propel us into the next lifetime, we find ourselves to be rather disoriented.  This happens over and over and over again.  We find ourselves born into a new lifetime, with new problems, and we immediately start constructing a new self.

The trouble with this is that we don’t really have a moment to catch our breath, so to speak.  The immediacy of each lifetime is tremendously urgent, so challenging that we have no time to replay the lifetime that has just left us.  The other issue is that we’ve just tasted Timeless Luminosity, which is the Ultimate Truth where we discover definitively that self has never existed in any way that we think it has.  It’s merely a figment of our own imagination; and, when I say this, I’m not saying that it's a figment of an imagination carried by any sort of self.

It's easier to believe things than it is to know.  Belief in a self is easy and obvious, and obviously a lie that we tell ourselves in order to get through the day.  Belief in a no-self is something that the intellect might discover after a very long quest to find conceptual reality.  This belief is also a complete lie, as well as a tremendously foolish conclusion, which requires us to entirely disregard appearances.

Reality exists somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.  We can only discover reality through direct experience, through a way of knowing that cannot be encapsulated by concept.  It requires us to discover our real nature.

So, when I teach, I am coming from a point of view that comes straight out of direct experience.  I’m doing my best to reveal the inexplicable condition that we all experience in death, which is the same experience that might become visible to us while in deep meditation.  I’m not teaching according to any curricula from any school on Earth.  My curricula comes directly from my direct experiences in the death bardo.  If this has some value to people, then I’m glad to do it.

We only fabricate self with a complex network of labels.  We also fabricate a no-self by kidding ourselves that we haven’t created those labels.  Both disregard appearances, which are like a reflection in a mirror.  Anything can happen.  We have infinite potentiality, even though we don’t really exist.  It’s confusing.

If you examine appearances, I mean really examine what appears to mind, it doesn’t take very long before we realize that this is all an illusion.  If we relax, we can also see that this illusion does exist within our consciousness.  We need to understand the nature of illusions, the nature of thoughts, the nature of concepts.  These are things that we take for granted, now really knowing what that is, or making grand assumptions about this or that.

When you go through your cycle of day and night, try to really examine all that appears.  Being present in that is challenging; however, to succeed at that we must know how to relax.  Even though we quickly discover that we are part of this illusion, we also discover the importance of Bodhicitta.  It is the key to leaving this nightmare behind.  It is the key to liberation, as well as total and complete freedom.

If you are not ready for this knowledge, you might take a destructive attitude, thinking that nothing matters; so, you might think that it’s okay to be very nasty.  You can try this for a few lifetimes, really test out the matter and see where it gets you.  At some point, you will come to the realization that you will need to change your ways.  Even though self is not real, your actions fabricate that self.  It’s like a piece of art.  If you want it to be disturbing and dark, go ahead, investigate that.  Investigate it all you want.

It's like what we learned from Milarepa, someone who murdered a large number of people, out of revenge.  He realized how much of a mistake that was, and he soon devoted himself to awakening.  With this Bodhicitta, he was able to bring benefit to all.  He was able to awaken. 

For this, he is now celebrated as a saint.  His liberation sent blessings to all those he harmed.  In this way, his regrets vanished completely.  Through his songs and his teachings, people find ways to their own liberation, even though they realize the illusions of self and no-self.

Blessings in Light,               

Robert Aho