Real Courage
“I am inviting you in to my inner mind, without any barriers whatsoever, and I am cautioning the reader to not go there, unless you are prepared to meet my demons in the dark, utterly helpless, while I stand by laughing at the travesty of it all, the utter comedy of that illusion. You will be locked in here with me, it is not the other way around.”
An excerpt from, The Frog: A Spiritual Autobiography, Spanning Many Lifetimes, pg. 316, © 2021.
It may come as a surprise to some to know that I’ve really been holding back. Nothing that I’ve had published or spoken about, up until now, has come very close to the full extent of what I could say or share. I hold back, giving people a little time to catch their breath, keeping in mind the concerns of religions and institutions, various beliefs that people have, odd social quirks that keep people listening for long.
What I can tell you for certain is that I have been coddling the listener, as well as the reader. I’ve been taking it very slow, trying to be a little bit conventional and nice. You may have caught a change of expression when I speak that doesn’t entirely make sense. At those times I’ve been hinting at something, but not coming right out and saying it.
The main reason that I’ve said so little, really taking it very slow, is that I don’t want people to give up on their Spiritual Path even before it begins. People avoid discomfort of any kind; and, so, they condemn themselves to eternal suffering. We need to have the courage to face those things that just might rip our hearts out, unimaginable entities that are much more vile than anything we thought possible.
This takes real courage, not just some superficial notion of what it means to be courageous. This means having such a burning desire to wake up that you often forget your own fears, choosing to remain very rooted in your own determination at times when you’d ordinarily be freaking out. If you can’t do that, then there is little point in being on the Spiritual Path in the first place.
So, when we generate Bodhicitta, we must be aware of just what that means. It doesn’t mean that we will happily skip down a path, picking flowers, munching on treats, sending rays of love everywhere, it means we will be honestly looking at what lurks in our own mind. We invite those things in the shadow to come out and have an honest discussion with us. If we have firmly established our commitment to enlightenment mind, then it will be no problem.
This is why we start with Bodhicitta. It is our commitment and our strength. If you fail, don’t worry, it’s just an illusion. Start again with Bodhicitta. Annihilate the demon of having a weak commitment by generating Bodhicitta once more. You’ve been stuck in this mess for an eternity, don’t worry about it if you fail at first. Build a strong foundation of Bodhicitta and you will be able to face anything. Just don’t give up.
Once you really see that this life is nothing other than an illusion, nothing will rattle you in any way. You’ll be more annoyed than anything when demons pop up out of nowhere. Here again this cosmic joke seems out to get you; and, if you have established this great compassionate need to awaken, it will only seem like one more bad joke keeping you from your own awakening.
With my death, I did not encounter religion or gods or institutions heaven or hell or televangelists spitting hate at me, or any other kind of closed minded jerk saying that they have all the answers; nor did I see my family or people that I know, or angels or heads of temples, churches or monasteries; nor did I see anything that anyone has ever told you about what this whole dying thing is like. I did, however, see all of those things and more upon my hundred year return. Everything imaginable, all possibilities, infinite potentiality occurs in this thing I’ve been calling the energetic dimension.
I’ve been holding back when people say that this bright light is the same as God or even Source. No it’s not. Those are both objects of mind, therefore, it is just more mind. All these things we imagine are part of this great illusion. Reality is beyond any sort of object. It cannot be reified in any way. Get it through your head that the answers you see are also illusions. Belief is an illusion. Reality is beyond any sort of reification. This is why we go to relaxing and letting things unfold, as it is. We do this because, if we fabricate anything, we’re just adding to the infinite potentiality of what is, as it is. And, that’s not awakening.
When I began the book The Frog, I did so with the attitude of not holding anything back. If you have read the book, I think that you might have some inkling. Awakening, however, requires us to go further than where I have led you thus far. Please contemplate this, then awaken.
Blessings in Light,
Robert Aho