Oh, the torture, the pain, this tattered life,
If only to endure, to endure just a little more,
For a time, just some more time in this vexation
of life without end, this endless cycle;
In the vast myriad of lifetimes
it has only been suffering,
falling apart,
pain unending, and yet
we cling to it, thinking it will get better
thinking it’s just some aberration in the matrix;
When we really look,
when we really see the blessings, we can accept all suffering,
we see the motivation arising for Spiritual Practice,
we see a very good reason
to Awaken.
A poem by Robert Aho © 2025
If you have followed me for any time at all, you are already quite aware that I had cancer on top of all my other ailments. They did not get it all when I had surgery. What followed was the inevitable speech about all the many procedures to follow, getting my affairs in order, then death. I realized that they did the best that they could; so, I began intensive Spiritual Practice.
Years earlier, my master, Namkhai Norbu was diagnosed with an incurable type of cancer. They did everything that they could, including a couple rounds of chemotherapy. They wanted to do some more chemo; however, my master said no thanks, especially after they said he’d still die after all that torture. He then proceeded with intensive Spiritual Practice, mainly Mandarava practice, and he became cured. Everybody was very surprised. This became a famous story to tell among Spiritual Practitioners and medical experts alike. My master was the first to recover from that terrible form of cancer.
When I was told that they were not able to remove all of my cancer, I also began extensive practices of Mandarava. In time, everybody was very surprised that I was completely cancer-free. When I told Namkhai Norbu about this, he was very happy; although, I’m not so sure that he was really very surprised. That was about ten years ago.
Now, I’ve talked about all the pain that I endure, even now after going through so many things. It is excruciatingly painful to walk, I have arthritis, depression, migraines, just a big nasty list of ailments to contend with. The other day someone asked me why I don’t cure myself of all of this through Spiritual Practice. I responded that it is important for people to know that I understand completely what they are going through, no matter what that is. Pain itself is not something that threatens my life. It’s simply something that I must endure, and I see it as a tremendous blessing.
When I go to the dentist, I tell them to skip the Novocaine or other pain killers, just drill. I don’t like feeling numb or weird from anything that deadens pain. They are very surprised by this, and I can see they don’t like doing the procedure in this way. I explain that I simply step aside from the pain and I won’t flinch one bit.
So, why is it that I see the pain as a blessing and simply accept it? Well, the answer is very simple: I’ve seen an infinite number of lifetimes, and none of them were without pain and suffering. Even lifetimes in the god realm were not entirely delightful, especially at the end of those lifetimes. If we are in cyclic existence, then it is suffering unending. When we are in pain, we pay off our karmic debts—and we have many.
It should be pointed out, as well, that I have learned to live with excruciating chronic pain without letting it distract me from my Spiritual Practice. If I can do that, then so can you. It’s important to know that any sort of difficulty can be overcome, if you are serious about Spiritual Practice. This starts with the aspiration to awaken. Our aspiration to awaken gives us the ability to overcome everything. Without a very strong aspiration, then we cannot endure much.
My entire ability to overcome and endure terrible chronic pain, and life-threatening illnesses on top of that, stems from my aspiration to awaken. We can learn a few techniques for dealing with pain; however, the real super-charged ability comes when we have gained some confidence in our own spiritual abilities, which can only be discovered if we aspire to awaken.
Now, this is a very important point, don’t delay with your Spiritual Practice. Everything might be just hunky-dory today; however, tomorrow you may be on your death bed. At that point, there is nothing that I can tell you that will help in the least. If you wait until the last moments, when you are filled with pain and distress, then you will have no hope of gaining mastery over your own pain and suffering. Begin by really looking at mind, contemplating this impermanent life, this precious opportunity that you have to awaken right now in this lifetime.
This is your chance to cut all these karmic strings that are binding you to an eternal series of unfortunate lifetimes. Cyclic existence is not normal. Awakening is much more ordinary. The only way to truly master pain is the Spiritual Path. This is your opportunity right now!
Please awaken!
Blessings in Light,
Robert Aho